The story so far..

This is probably going to be my last post until after my finals are done. I really had to korek my brain to figure out what to blog about..so i decided to blog about myself!

This is my story.So far la..

I came to this world early in the morning on the 19th of October 1988. For some reason Dad didn't handle the delivery. Maybe sien already la..im the 4th one after all haha!

Used to smile much more whilst taking photos..

I was quickly baptized into the Anglican faith at St.Columba's church..cant remember the name of that priest, but thats my fashionable mum in the colourful outfit haha. Hey, its 1988 ok.
Thats Patrick and Liza, my 2 elder siblings. I seriously can't recall much from the early days. The earliest concious memory of my childhood only stretches back as far as kindy.
Growing up with four siblings was quite an experience, there was never a quiet day. And us boys would either be busy playing or fighting. Either way there was always someone who ended up crying. Strangely enough, i remember patrick having frequent nosebleeds whenever there was the usual ruckuss.

And then i remember those trips we would make to our kampung in Balingian. When i was a toddler, i didnt really mind. As i grew up, i hated going back. Now, as a 20 year old..i have mixed feelings. On one hand, I can never get used to life where theres only 6-9hours of electricity, no fridge, no tv. Power cut at 9-10pm(meaning sleeptime is 9-10pm). Then again, this is my home and my people. So i usually go without making too much fuss nowadays.
I'd normally spend my time fooling around the longhouse..or go swimming in the pond with my uncle..the same pond where they slaughter pigs/cows,pee and take dumps. Hahah! I remember comming back from kampung with all kinds of wierd skin diseases and rashes..KURAP! No wonder i never get sick nowadays, cause my immune system was tortured so badly when i was young.So now its like super strong and immune to all strains of microbes and pathogens.( which can be found in that pond...)

From an adorable baby, I grew up to be a rather annoying toddler. I had this bad habit of blowing candles during other peoples birthdays. I also threw frequent tantrums. Mum was more tolerant, but i remember dad keeping me in the storeroom when i went overboard.
The things they make kids do...

After kindy, i was sent to S.R.B St. Columba, where i stayed until primary 2. Mid year through 1996, dad was posted to London for 2 years, and so the family followed.
For the first few months, we were holed up in a hotel on Regent street, central London. Paradise for a 8year old. No school, no worries. But it got boring after a while. And i remember getting so sick of the hotel breakfast. Then once in a while we'd go school hunting, or house hunting.

And after months living in a pretty decent hotel, we moved to this place in north west london. 106 Golders Green. Golders Green had a largely jewish population,and this was my first encounter with them.To tell you the truth, I found them rather strange.Im talking about the really conservative ones...those tht wouldnt mix with you or absolutely refuse to do anything on the sabbath day.

All decked out for work! Me and Pat enrolled in Hendon Prepatory School for Boys and Girls, aka Hendon Prep. Nick went to Millhill School, and Dad worked at the main Shell headquaters in central London somewhere near Waterloo tube station i think.
Happy family: Winter 96. First encounter with snow, me and pat damn sakai. I was screaming like mad and had to be restrained by both of my kakaks. Imagine 2 helpers trying to bundle up this hyper kid in as much winter clothing as possible before releasing him outside like a rabbid dog.

We did our fair bit of travelling around europe and went to places like Amsterdam, Paris, etc etc. We also did plenty of travelling in the UK itself, going to places like Scotland, Manchester,Liverpool, and Blackpool.

I'll never forget the beautiful scenery in Ireland. It really does look like Hobbiton or Rivendell..Probably where JRR Tolkien got his ideas from.

Easily the happiest years of my life so far, but it was short lived. 1998, Dad was due to return to Malaysia. My fairy tale came to an end. I said goodbye to my friends in hendon prep, and we wouldnt make contact again right till 2008, when i found 4 of them on facebook.


Spot me and i'll give you 5 bucks.

So i was thrown right back into the malaysian public education system, which was in sharp contrast with the elite private school in which i was enrolled for 2 years . I was put in a class of 40, when in the UK there was only 10 of us to a class. The teachers here actually walked out on us whenever they were pissed, when this is unheard off over there. Some were also rather sadistic and peanut-brained.(and horny too!)

I felt rather out of place, and my BM was attrocious. I had hardly spoken the language in 2 years, and now whole lessons were conducted in BM. I was lost. I remember going for intensive BM tuition as well as plenty of story book reading to re-familiarize myself with the language.

Bahhh theres still lots to tell and im getting sleepy, so ill stop here for now. Will continue the other half tomorrow :D or after exam..

To whom it may concern.

I just wanted to let you now how much you inspire me.

To describe your strength and spirit in mere words is impossible. You truly are a woman of indespensible courage.You grew up in a broken family, your dad left. Your mother is sick, and you take care of all the younger ones. Your fragile family is plaqued with troubles, and yet you are calm. You consistently do well in school, you work hard.You have good intentions, yet they are misinterpreted. At the end of the day you are despised, misunderstood.

Thanks for sharing your feelings with me. Your story makes my life problems look like peanuts. Whatever storms you may encounter, i hope that you will face it with your typical enthusiasm and energy which you bring to class. Though i know ull never read this, i just wanted to say how grateful i am to have a friend like you.

I will not name names, because i dont think your story is ready to be told. I can't do much to help you, but I will always be more than willing to hear your story and offer what little advice i am capable of giving.

Never give up hope.

Stay strong!

P.s; its okay to cry in front of me, Theres no need to put up a strong front all the time. You've already done more than your fair share =)

Randomness of the early morning.

1.23 am, good time to blog. Especially when i'm trying to finish my Immuno presentation preparation (which is on monday...shit.) Theres at least 10 windows open devoted to my stupid topic, X-Linked Agammaglobulinemia. Its okay, I couldnt pronounce it the first time either. Thank god my new laptop has enough juice to open so many stuffs at one go. My previous laptop would hav had a heart attack if i tried running Itunes,words 03 and messenger live at the same time . 256mb RAM only mah wad to do.

So here i am, with a whole pile of stuff to complete, blogging. What to write about leh? Just random stuff lar. Whatever thats on my mind. Hrmm. Im seriously thinking of shaving my head, i dunno why. Ive had tht thought for months now. Almost everyone reacted negatively, well 99% of girls did. So i guess its a no no.

Then i had a sudden urge to puff cigarettes..wtf. Must be because tht damn china dude keeps smoking in the hostel toilet, and im getting hooked to the smell =.= But before u say anything, Im NOT gonna start smoking no thank you. What ive learned would be enough to scare the shit out of potential smokers.

Gym has been lousy recently. Inconsistent training has weakened me, and now i can just dream about ever squatting 175lbs which i did during the sem break. heck i was struggling just to finish 10 minutes on the threadmill.

Monday night is going to be a rather sad night for me. It will be my last kickboxing session in INTI. And Im supposed to fight one on one with the instructor, full competition rules, 3 rounds,3minute/round.Ive sparred with him dozens of times, but this time its special. Im gonna give it my all because its the last time im gonna touch gloves with him in a long long time. maybe even the last time, period.

So to do justice to 4 semesters of learning the not-so subtle art of kickboxing from him, I have to put on a good show. No doubt all the other members will be watching as well. No giving up due to fatigue, or pain, or whatever. I have to last that 3 rounds. Im gonna have to remember all those hours of practising my jab and hooks. Low cuts, counter kicks, throws. Im not going to give him any chance, and i hope he wont show me mercy either :).

recently ive been watching plenty of sappy love movies..Half way through a bootleg copy of P.S. I love you after having watched Slumdog Millionaire 5 times. Im turning into a girl haiz..at least thats what my lab partner Yanie calls me anyway. To which i would reply "Yanie, do you want me to prove to you that im a guy? I can do that you know..its quite easy.."- add a lewd smile and some eyebrow movement- and she'll give you a look of pure disgust and say something like you deserve a tight slap HAHAHA! Yanie will always be Yanie. We made a pact that if we ended up in the same Uni, we'll continue to be labbies :D

21 days to the end, 21 days to finish INTI. Im not kidding when i say it felt like it was only yesterday when i entered this college. Well ive done my time, and its time for me to fly off to kangaroo land..provided i pass with 65 average tht is haha. The closer i get to the end, the more i think about how life over there is..I anticipate walking alot, shops closing early, plenty of chinese/vietnam/malaysian people, expensive chicken, cheap beef :) .....and Milk! Im also prepared for discrimination but i dont think its very severe in Adelaide.

One thing i wont miss abt INTI is the subtle discrimination face by non chinese speaking people. No, not by the admin but by the student population. The system is to be blamed la, when ure brought up learning in a particular language just like in UEC schools, you tend to be less comfortable around people who dont speak the same way.So you choose not to hang out with them, or socialize with them, or talk cock with them, or go dinner/yamcha/whatever with them.
getting treated with mild neglect, thats how i would put it. Thats why me need more ppl like former law minister Zaid Ibrahim who thinks the current 'national intergration' system is all cock.Thank god its only 3 weeks left. i would die if i had to stay here for another year.

Trust me ive got nothing against chinese people, Im part chinese, and an affiliate of the INTI Chinese Cultural Society.I practise Sanda, the combative arm of Wushu.Id say 80% of my friends are chinese.My best buddies are chinese.Im slowly learning how to converse in mandarin and can swear in Cantonese(i wan to learn hokkien!). I check out chinese chicks too haha.Cute mah.Come to think about it, all the girls ive been interested in the past are chinese!or part chinese....WTF IBAN OUTSIDE CHINESE INSIDE kanena kanchibek niamahh. Sorry mum im going to marry a chinese girl and have many hybrid children all names starting with 'J'.

Heres a maths question for you.

I calculated that im 1/8 chinese 5/8 iban, 2/8 lain lain(kadazan etc etc.). If i marry a pure blooded chinese(1/1) and have children, how chinese would my children be?
.
..
....
........
...........

-____-"

If u give me a plausible answer, ill give u chocolate. u wan?

-____-" again..

Before i go blabbing on i better stop here. I still have a lot to do for my presentation and i have to e-mail a draft to Ms Yap tomorrow morning. So till my next update, Cya.

-signing out-

Update

In the midst of the tempest around me, i finally have some time to myself. My last few days in INTI is definitely going to be extremely challenging. For more than 2 weeks I have been in a continual high tension mode, being bombarded with tests, assignments, journal compilations, full length reports ,u name it i got it. My night has turned to day, and days, well they remain as days.Just more miserable. Slogging through lectures with 4 hours of sleep, and then dragging myself to the library to complete that last miserable journal/report/assignment. Only coming back at 8pm, rest, start again at 10pm right till 4am in the next morning.

It really has sapped my strength, and my temper has frayed at times.And the bags underneath my eyes seem to become a permanent feature of my face. To make things worst, my laptop had just been fried by a lightning strike..with all my immunology presentation data inside. By some miracle the hard disk was intact and i managed to extract the critical files.

The upside is that i got a brand new baby :D. A real monster, 4GB ram, 250GB HD, ATI Radeon HD3470, dual core processor 2.o GHz. I shall take my sweet time examining every inch of my darling after my finals are done.

I still have an Immuno presentation on monday, Immuno journals and report on tuesday, Microbio assignment due on wednesday, and a Genetics quiz on thursday. Then theres a one week grace period before the finals. The cycle is gonna start all over again. God bless.

if theres one thing i pledge to do once 3rd year begins in aussie, its definitely gotta be that im NOT going to do last minute work .ever.

-signing out-

....

You're just so much more beautiful when you smile.

Tired.

It's as if all my facial muscles have gone kaput, and now my face is forever stuck in a glum look. For now anyways. Today we just had our second Immunology test, and immunology for me is a very very very VERY stressful subject. Its like eating vomit.
I studied very hard for this test, i really did. My previous test only scored 50+ and i didnt want to make my life in the finals any harder so i didnt have a choice, i had to score in test 2. Well APPARENTLY there was a misunderstanding in the topics covered for the test.
I was told that test 2 covered The Compliment System, MHC, Tcell development, B cell development maturation and differentiation as well as Cell Mediated Cytotoxicity. I made sure i knew those 5 topics like the back of my hand.

I can still recite off hand how the classical pathway in the compliment system works.

C1q recognizes Antigen-antigen bound antibody, autocatalytically activates C1r which in turn activates another C1r. Both C1r act to activate C1s which cleaves C4 to C4b and C4a, as well as C2 to C2a and C2b. C4b will bind near the Antigen bound antibody, and C2a will bind to C4b to form the C4b2a complex which has C3 convertase activity. C4b2a cleaves C3 to C3a and C3b. C3b binds with C4b2a to form C4b2a3b which has C5 convertase activity. C5 convertase cleaves C5 to C5b and C5a. C5b will form complexes with C6, C7, C8 and poly-C9 to form the membrane attack complex.

I swear its like reading a mantra...Sit cross legged, palms together with eyes closed whilst chanting this and many other mechanisms in a monotonous droning voice. This is what i did in my room for a few nights straight.All wasted.

The thing which pisses me off, is the fact that something which wasnt supposed to be in the test, came out for the test.

All of a sudden i see questions asking about the type of cytokines which T cells secrete, asking how to explain the mechanism..highlighting which cytokine acts a regulator for the other cytokine..how they interact with one another..WTF!and also questions asking which molecule is responsible for stalling T cell maturation etc etc..SO MANY T CELLS QUESTIONS!

I couldnt answer any of em. Trying to make a wild guess is like winning the lottery. So many different kinds of cytokines, hormones etc ..you have the interleukins (IL1,2,3,.....) then the Interferons(IFN), and the other shits . Probably hundreds of them. I counted at least 23 marks out of 100 lost for sure(blank).

I was so stressed out in the test that my eyelids started twitching and kept ruffling my hair till they started falling out.

pissed, angry FUCK! Stupid son of a bitch. Whats the fucking use eh? And now Inti starting to increase the weightage of internal marks for the final grade oh-fucking JOY! I swear i could kill someone right now..The main door of the toilet near the library was my first victim. It was half jammed. I yanked it...abit too roughly. something cracked.and now the door wont close cause it nearly came off its hinges.

Really not in the mood to do anything else. I got a major headache from the lack of sleep for the past few days and feeling like shit coz i havnt been exercising and eating like crap. Those damn africans on 3rd floor better not be making noise today coz im not in the tolerating mood for their shit. That goes for the 3rd floor chinese guys as well if i hear a single Dota,Kanchibek, kanena, Niamah etc etc being shouted. 3rd floor ppl better watch out.

Ahh Fuck.

The Battle of Stalingrad

WARNING: This a blog post on a historical topic, and most readers would probably find it boring. I have taken the initative to simplify it as best as i can without doing injustice to history and hopefully readers can take something away by reading this post :)

A few days ago, i started re-reading a book which i had bought when i was still completing my A-levels. The best rm38.50 i had ever spent on a book, ive read this baby at least 4 times already.The title of this book is "Stalingrad" by Antony Beevor and it tells the story of the battle of stalingrad (duh!) which took place from July of 1942 right till February of 1943, in Stalingrad(duh again!) which is now known as Volvograd.

The book starts with the events way before the actual battle itself. The narration begins with the description of Operation Barbarossa- the Invasion of the Soviet Union by Nazi Germany. For those of you that are not familiar with World War 2 history, Germany and Russia were allies until Hitler decided that the resources in Russia was too great of an attraction to pass.So Hitler carried out one of the biggest backstabs (more like a back hack/slash/massacre)in history.

22 June 1941, roughly 4.5 million Axis soldiers along the Germany-Russia border,covering an area of roughly 2900km(thats like going from miri to kuching 4 times) began their assault on the Soviet Union.

German troops pouring into Russia from nazi Germany in 3 groups. Army group north, Army group center and Army group south.

The attack was brutal and swift, russian soldiers were ill prepared, outgunned and technologically inferior to the German army(In the begining lah..later on the russians created the T-36 , which was one of the most advanced and feared tank on the battlefield.). German tank formations, known as Panzer regiments,along with the German airforce(Luftwaffe) and the German ground forces( Wermacht, Waffen SS etc etc) carried out their infamous Blitzkrieg maneuvers, ripping the Soviet Union at an incredible rate, overunning vast amounts of area.

Scenes like these were pretty common throughout the front, summary executions of ideological enemies and ethinic cleansing.

The battle of stalingrad was one of the scenes of bloodiest fighting in the whole campaign. Stalingrad, an industrial city along the river volga was an important for a few reasons, namely due to its strategic importance as a supply route, as well as a critical area if Hitler were to continue his conquest of russia (The capture of stalingrad would allow for the strategic defense of the oil-rich caucasus region.)

The main Units involved:

Nazi Germany = 6th Army, Commanded by General Freidrich Paulus.

General Friedrich Paulus( Promoted to Field Marshall prior to the defeat of the 6th Army)

U.S.S.R= 62nd Guards Army, Commanded by General Vasily Chuikov

Vasily Chuikov(centre)in his command centre, east bank of the Volga, Stalingrad.

the total amount of men, tanks, aircraft used were mind boggling. At the peak of the battle, both sides had in excess of 1million soldiers and thousands of tanks,aircraft and artillery pieces.

I can summarize the battle in one word. Savage.

Both sides had blatant disregard for human life, the Germans killed, the Soviets killed harder.All the while, civillians were still living inside the city. Daily bombing raids by stuka dive bombers, massive artillery bombardments, infantry advances, Panzer attacks. Repelled by waves of ill equiped russian soldiers, who were shot to death by their own officers if they retreated. The battle of stalingrad also saw some of the fiercest urban fighting in the history of warfare.

Mamayev Kurgan, also known as 'Height 103.0', is a mound overlooking the city of Stalingrad. Due to strategic importance, it was vicously fought for. Almost 90% The Soviet 13th Guards rifle division numbering 10,000 men were lost. 10,000 men. The hill itself changed hands regularly, up to 6 times within 12 hours.

Heavy weapon detachment from Rodminstev's 13th Guards fighting on Mamayev Kurgan

The russian defence of stalingrad was tenacious, and the advance of the German 6th Army came to a halt, with neither sides being victorious. The germans occupied the west side of the river volga, the russians were on the east.

This was the only way russians could reinforce the units on the western side of the Volga, by boat. The slow moving wooden flotillas were easy targets for the German air force, the Luftwaffe.

The deadlock in Stalingrad was the begining of the end for the 6th Army.Russian Army units soon launched a 2 pronged assault (Operation Uranus) from the North, and South of Stalingrad to aid the ailing 62nd Army. The end result: Total encirclement of Stalingrad and the German 6th army in it. They were totally cut off from the outside world, no supplies except through air drops.The 6th Army was going to starve to death.


This map basically shows the 2 pronged russian attack(grey arrows), meeting at a town called Kalach, effectively forming a 500mile diameter encirclement around Stalingrad, Trapping the German 6th army in it.

Both sides suffered untold horrors. Soldiers survived eating stale bread, wheat soup, some extremely thirsty even resorted to drinking sewage water, knowing very well the lethal effects of eating ice(which was in abundance during the cold russian winter). Germans which were desperate enough to collect air flown supply drops in broad daylight were easily shot by Russian snipers. Wounded men, some with no limbs, were left to die in the open. Most were shot mercifully.

With the encirclement of the 6th army, the soviets proceded by crushing the circle. They pushed all the way into the city of Stalingrad where the 6th army was holed up, and decimated the place. Field Marshall(was promoted to this rank just before the surrender) Friedrich Paulus, who was found in his headquaters in the basement of a grocery store, surrendered. The germans lost.

After almost one year of brutal fighting, the soldiers of Stalingrad embrace each other with joy.

Field Marshall Paulus, along with General Schmidt, being escorted to their holding area after being captured in stalingrad.

The result:Decisive German defeat. A few million men, women and children on both sides killed wounded or missing.

The end of the battle marked the begining of the decline of Germany's attempt to attack east. By 1944, the German army was in great decline. 1945, Berlin fell,Japan was bombed, World war II ended.

This battle played a vital role in history, like many other key events in world war II. If Stalingrad had fallen, the Germans most likely would have conquered the whole of Russia by the end of 1942 or early 1943. Having unlimited natural resources at their disposal, Hitler's Germany would have been unstoppable. His dream of creating a Nazi Empire, The Third Reich of a thousand years would undoubtledly have come true.

In other words, If Chuikov and his 62nd Army along with the other detachments had not held Stalingrad long enough to ensure that Operation Uranus was a success, im pretty confident that we would all be speaking German and Japanese right now.

Only 6000 german soldiers from the battle of Stalingrad made it back to Germany after being released by Russia in the 1950's. 90% of the POW's died in Russian captivity.

The Motherland Calls! memorial on top of Mamayev Kurgan ,where the 13th guards rifle division was wiped out. Nearby is also the tomb of Marshall Chuikov, Hero Of The Soviet Union for his leadership during the battle.

-signing out-