i know its a bit early but im not sure if i'll be having any internet connection during the new year so yeah..im gonna sum up the year 2007 here and now..hasn't really been a good year for me..full of drama and ups and downs. It's probably wiser for me to list events as follows
most disappointing moment...receiving A levels results, and all the drama occurred after
most happy moment..making great new friends in Inti
most heartbreaking moment..i wouldnt divulge that here.
most encouraging moment..given another chance to hope =)
most unexpected moment..enjoying molecular and cell biology
most confusing moment...same as point number 3 and maybe point number 1
most enlightening moment..listening to the Christmas sermon delivered by the Dean of St. Thomas Cathedral
i can't really think of anything else..and of course, seeing that the new year is coming, i'd set the sky as the limits to my goal..so this year is no exception =)
2008 resolutions
1. lose 15 kilo's or more
2. be able to jog 1 km in a respectable amount of time
3. obtain at least 3.6 and above cGPA for year 1
4. improve rugby and football skills..especially in taking free kicks and shooting
5. improve stamina!!
6. get buff..ok la, at least get rid of my man boobs and protruding fats cukupla
7. increase in drive and aggression..for use in sports only la
bla bla bla..ill think of more as the new year approaches..even if i get one out of the six is good enough la..and having high goals is a good thing just like Machiavelli once said...i cant find his book so ill add the quote some other time la
and finally, Joshua's self motivation motto for 2008
Lose the fat,get the grades,bag a girl
because...
Impossible is nothing..ACKKK!!! ok, the last line cannot be included... later addidas sue me pulak..
haha! happy new year to all of u guys
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
the holidays go on and on and on and on and.....
Ive just came back from my KL shopping spree about 2 days ago...well it was actually my sister's Christmas shopping spree. I was just a bodyguard/driver =( . I was however well fed so im rather satisfied.
Nothing really exciting happened there, did meet up with jon and we hung out in Midvalley for more than 8 hours? HAHA! really pointless man..and we watched I Am Legend, which in my opinion sucked.
on our last day there,me and my sis went to this place in Bukit Bintang called the Starhill Gallery..the sort of place which makes me feel sick..kinda like kryptonite to superman. Ok, most, if not all the stuff there are high class-upmarket goods which are unreachable for most malaysians..Instead of a help desk, they have a concierge desk( wow! fantastic de england). And people open doors for you, and they wear business suits..The complex carries brands like Luis Vuitton,Gucci, Givenchy, Fendi and some names i've never even heard of..like Van Cleef and Arpels..wtf????
Would you pay rm 40,000 for a bag???? I dont care if its croc skin or ostrich or whatever..with that kinda money u can pay half the cost of a very decent car or even settle the down payment of your house..i really dont understand.
however, i did manage to clock another 300+ km on the tachometer..mostly done on the federal highway and LDP so at least i had the chance to brush up on my KL driving which is ALWAYS a good thing.
So now that im back in miri, i get to do things which i like best..like this
playing football in the morning with Gavin and his Bario higlanders hahaha
my trusty boots and rugby ball..they have served me well in numerous games and practice sessions with the Sunway Stallions
and this..my 'fun zone'..a strat copy, a marshall amp and a laptop with decent soundsytem is all one needs to pretend to be playing in a big concert
hahaha..im a really simple minded person after all.
Nothing really exciting happened there, did meet up with jon and we hung out in Midvalley for more than 8 hours? HAHA! really pointless man..and we watched I Am Legend, which in my opinion sucked.
on our last day there,me and my sis went to this place in Bukit Bintang called the Starhill Gallery..the sort of place which makes me feel sick..kinda like kryptonite to superman. Ok, most, if not all the stuff there are high class-upmarket goods which are unreachable for most malaysians..Instead of a help desk, they have a concierge desk( wow! fantastic de england). And people open doors for you, and they wear business suits..The complex carries brands like Luis Vuitton,Gucci, Givenchy, Fendi and some names i've never even heard of..like Van Cleef and Arpels..wtf????
Would you pay rm 40,000 for a bag???? I dont care if its croc skin or ostrich or whatever..with that kinda money u can pay half the cost of a very decent car or even settle the down payment of your house..i really dont understand.
however, i did manage to clock another 300+ km on the tachometer..mostly done on the federal highway and LDP so at least i had the chance to brush up on my KL driving which is ALWAYS a good thing.
So now that im back in miri, i get to do things which i like best..like this
playing football in the morning with Gavin and his Bario higlanders hahaha
my trusty boots and rugby ball..they have served me well in numerous games and practice sessions with the Sunway Stallions
and this..my 'fun zone'..a strat copy, a marshall amp and a laptop with decent soundsytem is all one needs to pretend to be playing in a big concert
hahaha..im a really simple minded person after all.
Monday, December 17, 2007
angau
its 1am in the morning and im having one of my philosophical moments. So why not blog it..thats what its for anyways..( warning: long and boring filler post)
everyone wants it(well most normal people anyways)..some people just cant get it..like yours truly. Yes boys and girls, im talking about love. Not the parent-child love, or the sibling-sibling love..Im talking about the girl-guy love.
oxford defines it as :
love
• noun 1 an intense feeling of deep affection. 2 a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 3 a great interest and pleasure in something. 4 a person or thing that one loves. 5 (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).
• verb 1 feel love for. 2 like very much. 3 loving showing love or great care.
— PHRASES love me, love my dog proverb if you love someone, you must accept everything about them, even their faults or weaknesses. make love 1 have sexual intercourse. 2 (make love to) dated pay amorous attention to. there’s no love lost between there is mutual dislike between.
— DERIVATIVES loveless adjective lovingly adverb.
— ORIGIN Old English, related to LEAVE2 and LIEF.
a band called The Darkness defines it as : love is only a feeling
i define it as : those warm fuzzy feelings that makes you go awwwww..
okay, from here you can clearly see the difference in terms of mental-maturity of 3 different groups with varying levels of intellect
For the sake of convenience, ill be talking from the perspective of a guy.
Love is a strange thing and is safe to say that its largely due to hormones raging in your body. The biological significance of wanting a partner is simple enough, because it is rooted in the very carnal instincts of all living organisms, that their genes must be passed on, to an offspring..to be more specific, make babies lah!!
And of course to do this, most normal people would have to'fall'for a member of the opposite sex. Im not saying that when u fall for someone, you'd immediately want to reproduce, no..thats just perverted. All im saying that its natural for us to fall in love, to want to care for someone, to want to protect someone and to defend the person whom he loves..complex feelings that probably evolved from the raw instincts to preserve our own genes.
Sarawakians call it angau, others call it lovesick. A strange phenomenon in which people do extremely stupid things to woo members of the opposite sex(normally guys would do it to girls lah)..they can include very irritating behaviour(call her everyday, to the extent of annoying her) to very sweet gestures('sweet' here is subjective to the nature of the girl). Guys suffering from this could probably be cought day dreaming, experience a change in behaviour and so on.As for me, i play the guitar in my room whereby i'd randomly play some cheesy sounding chord progression, making up the lyrics as i go along(sometimes i do make great sounding stuff though!) Angau-ness is the most dangerous time as guys would be rash in trying to express their feelings..again we go back to the point of exhibiting stupid behaviour. Seriously though, when it happened to me, i didnt realize what an idiot i was till it was too late, the damage had been done.You then would just have to make your face extra kaw kaw tebal and carry on as if nothing happened.hahaha!
Anyways- the point is, we shouldnt rush things.Take it easy,take it slow..it takes time to develop mutual trust and respect- are among the common advice that girls give to friends. And a foundation of strong friendshp is always important..i used to think differently..but i now realise that its impossible to build strong relationships without first laying strong foundations as friends..
And also to guys who are in a rush to be unsingled ; a friend of mine once told me: 'don't you want only the very best to be your partner?'.
Its up to you to take this as being unrealistic or not..but there is sense and truth in that statement . So when feelings overwhelm me, i come back to that thought and take a breath..count one to ten..spin around 10 times..sing mary had a little lamb..then ask myself,is she the right one? you sure this isn't just a fling? or maybe im just feeling bored and looking for some 'kick' in my life and ill get that by chasing a girl..hrmmmmm.
okay okay, by now some people would be like What THe FUCK man!! its just getting a girl!Have some fucking balls!okay, yeah you're right. But its not wrong to want to do things properly. But there would always be people who are quick to condemn you as being a square, oh well, thats their opinion. Do whatever makes you happy. but im determined to do it my way thats for sure.
Then again theres the myth of love that lasts forever..probably no such thing in my opinion( im sorry ah liens and ah bengs~ :P 'i lap u forever lorrr, becoz our lap,itz so strong de,and i drive u here and there in wo de very fast de proton saga..muaxz muaxz..kekezzzz-whatever thats supposed to mean...urghh).
After 20 years living together, that intial spark that started it all had either whithered away or is fading..and the thing which keeps the couple glued together is something other than love.,mutual interests,respect for character/personality, responsibilities(eg.children and all) and whole lotta other factors..i know this cause my parents told me on their 28th wedding anniversarry. It doesnt mean they dont love and care for each other.no, its far from that. Its just that other things hav to help support and maitain that initial love and pull the family through difficult times.
I have had lots of arguments with friends wether or not its realistic to expect an individual to have a relationship only if it can last till marriage..till today i still dont know. why dont u help me answer =).
so guys, before we all go on and hunt/fish for the perfect one, please bear in mind..try not to hunt with your balls alone but try to use a bit of that organ we call a brain..respect girls and their boundaries. Be commited and serious. Dont play the fool with emotions and feelings..after all, hell hath no fury like a women scorned( in simple english, girls can get nasty..) and as a matter of principle, i dont take lightly to infedelity..one of the few things which REALLY ticks me off and is able to unleash my full violent inner self if it were ever to happen to me..wahsehhh hahaha!
to top it all off, heres excrepts from a nice song by Interpol, titled slow hands
Yeah but nobody searches
And nobody cares somehow,
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud,
Then I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze,
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet blaze...
Can't you see what you've done to my heart,
and soul?
its such a wasteland now
I submit my incentive is romance
I watch the pole dance of the stars,
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars,
But I am married to your charms and grace
I just go crazy like the good old days,
You make me want to pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you..
Can't you see what you've done to my heart,
and soul?
its such a wasteland now.
so here it is, a piece of my mind. Its my opinion and you have yours. Feel free to comment and whatever. Dont get nasty though =)
and lastly,
to all the single bastards,myself included..and yes you too avery wee chee sin, i salute you! Maybe we can find another reason for cheer and hapiness this christmas season =).
everyone wants it(well most normal people anyways)..some people just cant get it..like yours truly. Yes boys and girls, im talking about love. Not the parent-child love, or the sibling-sibling love..Im talking about the girl-guy love.
oxford defines it as :
love
• noun 1 an intense feeling of deep affection. 2 a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 3 a great interest and pleasure in something. 4 a person or thing that one loves. 5 (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).
• verb 1 feel love for. 2 like very much. 3 loving showing love or great care.
— PHRASES love me, love my dog proverb if you love someone, you must accept everything about them, even their faults or weaknesses. make love 1 have sexual intercourse. 2 (make love to) dated pay amorous attention to. there’s no love lost between there is mutual dislike between.
— DERIVATIVES loveless adjective lovingly adverb.
— ORIGIN Old English, related to LEAVE2 and LIEF.
a band called The Darkness defines it as : love is only a feeling
i define it as : those warm fuzzy feelings that makes you go awwwww..
okay, from here you can clearly see the difference in terms of mental-maturity of 3 different groups with varying levels of intellect
For the sake of convenience, ill be talking from the perspective of a guy.
Love is a strange thing and is safe to say that its largely due to hormones raging in your body. The biological significance of wanting a partner is simple enough, because it is rooted in the very carnal instincts of all living organisms, that their genes must be passed on, to an offspring..to be more specific, make babies lah!!
And of course to do this, most normal people would have to'fall'for a member of the opposite sex. Im not saying that when u fall for someone, you'd immediately want to reproduce, no..thats just perverted. All im saying that its natural for us to fall in love, to want to care for someone, to want to protect someone and to defend the person whom he loves..complex feelings that probably evolved from the raw instincts to preserve our own genes.
Sarawakians call it angau, others call it lovesick. A strange phenomenon in which people do extremely stupid things to woo members of the opposite sex(normally guys would do it to girls lah)..they can include very irritating behaviour(call her everyday, to the extent of annoying her) to very sweet gestures('sweet' here is subjective to the nature of the girl). Guys suffering from this could probably be cought day dreaming, experience a change in behaviour and so on.As for me, i play the guitar in my room whereby i'd randomly play some cheesy sounding chord progression, making up the lyrics as i go along(sometimes i do make great sounding stuff though!) Angau-ness is the most dangerous time as guys would be rash in trying to express their feelings..again we go back to the point of exhibiting stupid behaviour. Seriously though, when it happened to me, i didnt realize what an idiot i was till it was too late, the damage had been done.You then would just have to make your face extra kaw kaw tebal and carry on as if nothing happened.hahaha!
Anyways- the point is, we shouldnt rush things.Take it easy,take it slow..it takes time to develop mutual trust and respect- are among the common advice that girls give to friends. And a foundation of strong friendshp is always important..i used to think differently..but i now realise that its impossible to build strong relationships without first laying strong foundations as friends..
And also to guys who are in a rush to be unsingled ; a friend of mine once told me: 'don't you want only the very best to be your partner?'.
Its up to you to take this as being unrealistic or not..but there is sense and truth in that statement . So when feelings overwhelm me, i come back to that thought and take a breath..count one to ten..spin around 10 times..sing mary had a little lamb..then ask myself,is she the right one? you sure this isn't just a fling? or maybe im just feeling bored and looking for some 'kick' in my life and ill get that by chasing a girl..hrmmmmm.
okay okay, by now some people would be like What THe FUCK man!! its just getting a girl!Have some fucking balls!okay, yeah you're right. But its not wrong to want to do things properly. But there would always be people who are quick to condemn you as being a square, oh well, thats their opinion. Do whatever makes you happy. but im determined to do it my way thats for sure.
Then again theres the myth of love that lasts forever..probably no such thing in my opinion( im sorry ah liens and ah bengs~ :P 'i lap u forever lorrr, becoz our lap,itz so strong de,and i drive u here and there in wo de very fast de proton saga..muaxz muaxz..kekezzzz-whatever thats supposed to mean...urghh).
After 20 years living together, that intial spark that started it all had either whithered away or is fading..and the thing which keeps the couple glued together is something other than love.,mutual interests,respect for character/personality, responsibilities(eg.children and all) and whole lotta other factors..i know this cause my parents told me on their 28th wedding anniversarry. It doesnt mean they dont love and care for each other.no, its far from that. Its just that other things hav to help support and maitain that initial love and pull the family through difficult times.
I have had lots of arguments with friends wether or not its realistic to expect an individual to have a relationship only if it can last till marriage..till today i still dont know. why dont u help me answer =).
so guys, before we all go on and hunt/fish for the perfect one, please bear in mind..try not to hunt with your balls alone but try to use a bit of that organ we call a brain..respect girls and their boundaries. Be commited and serious. Dont play the fool with emotions and feelings..after all, hell hath no fury like a women scorned( in simple english, girls can get nasty..) and as a matter of principle, i dont take lightly to infedelity..one of the few things which REALLY ticks me off and is able to unleash my full violent inner self if it were ever to happen to me..wahsehhh hahaha!
to top it all off, heres excrepts from a nice song by Interpol, titled slow hands
Yeah but nobody searches
And nobody cares somehow,
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud,
Then I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze,
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet blaze...
Can't you see what you've done to my heart,
and soul?
its such a wasteland now
I submit my incentive is romance
I watch the pole dance of the stars,
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars,
But I am married to your charms and grace
I just go crazy like the good old days,
You make me want to pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you..
Can't you see what you've done to my heart,
and soul?
its such a wasteland now.
so here it is, a piece of my mind. Its my opinion and you have yours. Feel free to comment and whatever. Dont get nasty though =)
and lastly,
to all the single bastards,myself included..and yes you too avery wee chee sin, i salute you! Maybe we can find another reason for cheer and hapiness this christmas season =).
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
bla bla bla
ive decided to write one last post before going on my kl trip..just to kill time. Partly cause i dont even knoe if the phone line is still active or not in d apartment..
been quite busy these past few days hanging out with friends and celebrating my parents 29th wedding anniversary!! 29 years is a long time =). Looking forward to the big one next year
So anyways, 2 nights ago, me and avery decided to go lepak at night..being miri, the only place cool enough for us was A1 cafe. We ended up eating kolo mee and wan tan soup. We then decided to drive around housing areas..got bored so we headed home after a few minutes. On the way sending me home, we decided to carry out project hellseek phase 2 in..jeng jeng jeng jeng...Kampung Pulau Melayu *gasps** woman screams in the background*
a lot of urban myths about this place..headless women and heads flying around and pontianak and whatnot...it was 11 sumthing pm so we thought it would be fun to check it out. I filmed the trip on avery's digicam(look out for the upload)
first thing u realize when ure near the kampung
its freaking dark coz very few street lights, none at some sections
then the roads are uber narrow..kampung maa what do you expect.
a lot of coconut trees........
plenty of sudden dead ends..super scary..we ended up driving one road where at the end of it was the huge ruins of a kampung house(burnt down) that was creepy..the narrow roads made turning around super hard..so if a pontianak decided to jump on us then....
as usual, nothing happened..maybe we managed to record something on the digicam..havent gone through the footages yet.
On the way home..i asked avery if he wanted to drive by a house near mine..now this house is special coz a few yrs back, the owner was stabbed to death there and since then the place is empty..but we chickened out hahaha.Partly cause it was raining and there were flashes of lightning as well, a perfect setting for a horror movie..and not a smart one to go looking for malicious spirits.Maybe some other time lah.
now the funny thing is, the very next day Avery got fever, reli bad stomach ache( diarrhoea) and he also sed that he puked several times..he claimed it was the A1 food..but i was perfectly fine..i thought maybe 'something' did follow one of us home wahahahahaha!!! Next destination; Taman selera: Scare meter: i think 8/10..depends on the time. should try 12 am or 3 am..A lot of ppl drowned at this place and its famous for sightings so its a good place to try.
SO ANYWAYS, had a reunion today, with old schoolmates. It was so good to see them all again evan,gen, naya, nadine, irene, wayne, afiq and so on..Being miri..we hung out in Bintang plaza..haunted McD's for a while then go watch movie..the golden compass..2nd time for me( this is the stereotypical miri teenager routine) talking cock is seriously one of my favourite hobbies HAHA!! Had a blast! Thanks guys, it was great to meet up after quite a while=)
im flying off tomorrow..go kl teman my sis..early flight so thats all for now~
been quite busy these past few days hanging out with friends and celebrating my parents 29th wedding anniversary!! 29 years is a long time =). Looking forward to the big one next year
So anyways, 2 nights ago, me and avery decided to go lepak at night..being miri, the only place cool enough for us was A1 cafe. We ended up eating kolo mee and wan tan soup. We then decided to drive around housing areas..got bored so we headed home after a few minutes. On the way sending me home, we decided to carry out project hellseek phase 2 in..jeng jeng jeng jeng...Kampung Pulau Melayu *gasps** woman screams in the background*
a lot of urban myths about this place..headless women and heads flying around and pontianak and whatnot...it was 11 sumthing pm so we thought it would be fun to check it out. I filmed the trip on avery's digicam(look out for the upload)
first thing u realize when ure near the kampung
its freaking dark coz very few street lights, none at some sections
then the roads are uber narrow..kampung maa what do you expect.
a lot of coconut trees........
plenty of sudden dead ends..super scary..we ended up driving one road where at the end of it was the huge ruins of a kampung house(burnt down) that was creepy..the narrow roads made turning around super hard..so if a pontianak decided to jump on us then....
as usual, nothing happened..maybe we managed to record something on the digicam..havent gone through the footages yet.
On the way home..i asked avery if he wanted to drive by a house near mine..now this house is special coz a few yrs back, the owner was stabbed to death there and since then the place is empty..but we chickened out hahaha.Partly cause it was raining and there were flashes of lightning as well, a perfect setting for a horror movie..and not a smart one to go looking for malicious spirits.Maybe some other time lah.
now the funny thing is, the very next day Avery got fever, reli bad stomach ache( diarrhoea) and he also sed that he puked several times..he claimed it was the A1 food..but i was perfectly fine..i thought maybe 'something' did follow one of us home wahahahahaha!!! Next destination; Taman selera: Scare meter: i think 8/10..depends on the time. should try 12 am or 3 am..A lot of ppl drowned at this place and its famous for sightings so its a good place to try.
SO ANYWAYS, had a reunion today, with old schoolmates. It was so good to see them all again evan,gen, naya, nadine, irene, wayne, afiq and so on..Being miri..we hung out in Bintang plaza..haunted McD's for a while then go watch movie..the golden compass..2nd time for me( this is the stereotypical miri teenager routine) talking cock is seriously one of my favourite hobbies HAHA!! Had a blast! Thanks guys, it was great to meet up after quite a while=)
im flying off tomorrow..go kl teman my sis..early flight so thats all for now~
Saturday, December 8, 2007
what bored boys do
nah..give you all a lame video to watch..taken in luak at around 11.50pm..was trying to look for ghosts. In the end lau ended up scaring himself hahahaha!!!! But that road is seriously scaryla..maybe next time we'll walk instead of driving. Watchout for more videos as we attempt project hellseek
credits to lau for the video upload..u don mind if i take it right??...hahahaha
credits to lau for the video upload..u don mind if i take it right??...hahahaha
Friday, December 7, 2007
the holidays go on
haven't been doing much theese past few days apart from hanging out with avery..played football 2 days ago at 8 sumthing am. That was like the earliest ive been up this whole break. Was surprised by the number of St.Columbans that turned up..16 persons including seniors, and my junior's junior's( bad de england im sorry) so it was kind of like a mini reunion
talked to some of them whom ive seen a lot during the school years but never actually said a word to. I was bushed after the first 20 mins..looks like cheesecake and other toxics from kuching finally took their toll(not to mention the lack of sleep and bad habit of not eating breakfast!!) Later that nite went to watch the golden compass with ging chin, lau and avery..ok ok la, not that great but kinda nice la
then today, i lepak-ed at avery's house..yeah man, miri is so hip..u hang out at ur friends place.
Went to Boulevard and we tried to call arvin to see if he wanna come or not
me: hello, arvin ka?
unknown: hello, oh, hold on
arvin: yes?
me:u wanna come hang out with us ka? me and avery
arvin: where u guys wanna go?
me: boulevard..
after a long pause..................................
arvin: i cant la i got stomach ache
mcb!!!!! at least find la a better excuse..so after browsing through the cetak rompak softwares and ps2 games, we headed to Taman Bulatan..instead of jogging we went there to drink and eat keropok...wow man..life is so cool...i cant wait to get started on the stupid video hantu project(avery's idea not mine)..after all we already hav a nice clip in which lau screamed out of genuine fear..yes, taken on the dark roads of luak at 11.50 pm HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
shit im lame.....
taman bulatan with the kolam air milo
playground.....
this pic has nothing to do with the post..saja saja wanna show muka baru bangun
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
2 years
slightly over two years have past since i last saw you, the memories remain clear in my mind.
we had just finished spm, waiting to celebrate our new found freedom..
I remember, we wanted to watch harry potter.. we waited for you, for you to return from sibu
but you never did
the days that followed were filled with grief
no words could describe it
no pictures from those days either
because the impression is everlasting
i held my composure throughout, or at least i tried
i remember sitting in your room with the gang, trying so hard to hold on when we knew it was impossible
i remember your living room where we had countless gatherings and parties
the same place where i gazed at your beautiful face..your face was calm, so was i.
because i knew that you were in a better place
i tried talking to you, hoping that you could hear..but you know me, i suck at letting my feelings loose. i kept on repeating myself..my mind was just overwhelmed by all that has just happened
you probably chuckled as you watched me from above..i was muttering and stumbling for words
like a guy on a first date
i stayed with vince the night before the service, my friend of so many years
we talked throughout the night, he was sobbing, i was reserved..we were very frank with each other..
morning came, we walked with you to the altar, proudly wearing our prefect blazers because we knew that it meant a lot to you
i couldnt hold it any longer but still i resisted
finally i gave in.i cried. my tears ran wild..
i tried to stop, but i couldnt
what's the point?...i let it run free. i never felt that much genuine grief before..vince was right. it felt good to cry
those were the happy days..the gang in its full glory
its been 2 years now since those days.This was how we ended our school years and this was how i began my new life studying in college.sometimes i just wonder to myself..why did it have to end like this? how would it be like if you were still with us?...in the end, ill just have to trust that God has plans for everything.
Just to let you know, were scattered all over the place now..rach's in the UK..avery's in kch, vince is in KL,jason's in the phillipines,naya, evan and gen are still home, nads, ivan,wayne and irene all studying in semenanjung..but it wouldnt really matter to you right?
because we all know you'll remain in our hearts wherever we may be...
as for me, that picture of red group during prefect camp 2004 follows me wherever i go..u'd know which one im talking about =)
to my dearest hannah;
i hope you're having a blast up there. Ill join you when my time comes..and when were all there, we can party just like the old times.
in loving memory of hannah lipang nawan
we had just finished spm, waiting to celebrate our new found freedom..
I remember, we wanted to watch harry potter.. we waited for you, for you to return from sibu
but you never did
the days that followed were filled with grief
no words could describe it
no pictures from those days either
because the impression is everlasting
i held my composure throughout, or at least i tried
i remember sitting in your room with the gang, trying so hard to hold on when we knew it was impossible
i remember your living room where we had countless gatherings and parties
the same place where i gazed at your beautiful face..your face was calm, so was i.
because i knew that you were in a better place
i tried talking to you, hoping that you could hear..but you know me, i suck at letting my feelings loose. i kept on repeating myself..my mind was just overwhelmed by all that has just happened
you probably chuckled as you watched me from above..i was muttering and stumbling for words
like a guy on a first date
i stayed with vince the night before the service, my friend of so many years
we talked throughout the night, he was sobbing, i was reserved..we were very frank with each other..
morning came, we walked with you to the altar, proudly wearing our prefect blazers because we knew that it meant a lot to you
i couldnt hold it any longer but still i resisted
finally i gave in.i cried. my tears ran wild..
i tried to stop, but i couldnt
what's the point?...i let it run free. i never felt that much genuine grief before..vince was right. it felt good to cry
those were the happy days..the gang in its full glory
its been 2 years now since those days.This was how we ended our school years and this was how i began my new life studying in college.sometimes i just wonder to myself..why did it have to end like this? how would it be like if you were still with us?...in the end, ill just have to trust that God has plans for everything.
Just to let you know, were scattered all over the place now..rach's in the UK..avery's in kch, vince is in KL,jason's in the phillipines,naya, evan and gen are still home, nads, ivan,wayne and irene all studying in semenanjung..but it wouldnt really matter to you right?
because we all know you'll remain in our hearts wherever we may be...
as for me, that picture of red group during prefect camp 2004 follows me wherever i go..u'd know which one im talking about =)
to my dearest hannah;
i hope you're having a blast up there. Ill join you when my time comes..and when were all there, we can party just like the old times.
in loving memory of hannah lipang nawan
Monday, December 3, 2007
im hooommmeee..
im back in miri after a 12 day trip to kuching..its good to be home =).
before i talk about kuching, i'd like to settle my grouses..the flight home was F*(K*&g terrible!!!. Not only did i use a turbo-prop plane, the flight also transited in sibu..making my journey 2 hours + long..now, about turbo prop planes(commonly called fokker but fokker is in fact a german aircraft manufecturer..much like how we refer to jetliners as boeings) they are smaller,lighter, fly slower and fly at a lower altitude..the only good thing about them is u'd have a higher chance to survive if it crashed..other than that,theres nothing good about it.The slightest cloud formation or air pocket would cause the plane to shake like hell..and yeah, they give you a packet of milo to drink.
transitting in sibu was a bore. They allowed us to remain in the plane so i sat there for 20 mins listening to my w850i. I watched as airport personnel cleaned the plane and offloaded the luggage(its stored in the plane right at the back, where i was). I was relieved to arrive in miri safely about an hour later..must remeber to check travel details more carefully before booking next time...
airport personnel cleaning the plane
ok, kuching was fun for the most part. It got really hectic towards the end when most of my cousins were finally free to hang out..met with vivian and her cousin judith on saturday and that was a blast..went to pc fair first.it was like playing rugby coz u had to barge through a hell load of bodies..i was constantly feeling for my phone ,wallet and ID pouch(paranoid!!!)had to explain what is RAM , GHz ,HDD ,Graphic accelerator, intel core duo bla bla bla and whatnot to vivian coz she was looking for a laptop but was totally blur
we walked in the rain to hilton where we had hi-tea buffet( eventhough it was lunch for us)..Tersempak with my aunt pulak! The food was excellent! Really didn expect it to be so yummy. Highly recommended!!As usual, we behaved like idiots..trying to make each other throw up after the buffet by making disgusting hurling sounds..i think the uncle behind me got annoyed.. judith made this really cute sound..somewhat between a hiccup and a pig squeal HAHAHA!!!!! Went to Tun Jugah after that where the girls did some window shopping...(im used to this, i trained under the great Amanda-Pamela-Michelle-Brenda quartet..they've seriously got legs made of steel)
they insisted on taking a pic with the christmas decor as backdrop haha!!
Judith and Vivian..lucky me or lucky them? Lucky me more like it HAHA!!!
its a bit early for christmas decor but what the hell..me and vivian next to the beautiful christmas tree
met with my cousin Alvin after that..played pool for a while where i beat him in the most cilaka of ways hahaha!!!went with alvin to visit my other cousin Glenda. Jeff joined us later..went for drinks at a coffee shop-had beer with Alvin.Supposed to discuss plans for the christmas gathering but ended up talking cock!!! We then adjourned for an all cousin affair in star cineplex where we watched The Kingdom(midnight show) . Really awesome shit man..slept at 4 am that day.
Had breakfast/lunch with my cousins the next day..didnt do much though as i had a flight to catch..overall kuching was fun! Cant wait to return for the christmas bash with the whole clan..yup, the whole bunch from my mums side...maybe we'll get to see nenek berjoget again HAHA!!
Nenek berjoget!!!HAHA! christmas 2006@hilton
as for now, my party continues in miri..
signing out now, have a jamming session tomorrow with pals. Cya~
before i talk about kuching, i'd like to settle my grouses..the flight home was F*(K*&g terrible!!!. Not only did i use a turbo-prop plane, the flight also transited in sibu..making my journey 2 hours + long..now, about turbo prop planes(commonly called fokker but fokker is in fact a german aircraft manufecturer..much like how we refer to jetliners as boeings) they are smaller,lighter, fly slower and fly at a lower altitude..the only good thing about them is u'd have a higher chance to survive if it crashed..other than that,theres nothing good about it.The slightest cloud formation or air pocket would cause the plane to shake like hell..and yeah, they give you a packet of milo to drink.
transitting in sibu was a bore. They allowed us to remain in the plane so i sat there for 20 mins listening to my w850i. I watched as airport personnel cleaned the plane and offloaded the luggage(its stored in the plane right at the back, where i was). I was relieved to arrive in miri safely about an hour later..must remeber to check travel details more carefully before booking next time...
airport personnel cleaning the plane
ok, kuching was fun for the most part. It got really hectic towards the end when most of my cousins were finally free to hang out..met with vivian and her cousin judith on saturday and that was a blast..went to pc fair first.it was like playing rugby coz u had to barge through a hell load of bodies..i was constantly feeling for my phone ,wallet and ID pouch(paranoid!!!)had to explain what is RAM , GHz ,HDD ,Graphic accelerator, intel core duo bla bla bla and whatnot to vivian coz she was looking for a laptop but was totally blur
we walked in the rain to hilton where we had hi-tea buffet( eventhough it was lunch for us)..Tersempak with my aunt pulak! The food was excellent! Really didn expect it to be so yummy. Highly recommended!!As usual, we behaved like idiots..trying to make each other throw up after the buffet by making disgusting hurling sounds..i think the uncle behind me got annoyed.. judith made this really cute sound..somewhat between a hiccup and a pig squeal HAHAHA!!!!! Went to Tun Jugah after that where the girls did some window shopping...(im used to this, i trained under the great Amanda-Pamela-Michelle-Brenda quartet..they've seriously got legs made of steel)
they insisted on taking a pic with the christmas decor as backdrop haha!!
Judith and Vivian..lucky me or lucky them? Lucky me more like it HAHA!!!
its a bit early for christmas decor but what the hell..me and vivian next to the beautiful christmas tree
met with my cousin Alvin after that..played pool for a while where i beat him in the most cilaka of ways hahaha!!!went with alvin to visit my other cousin Glenda. Jeff joined us later..went for drinks at a coffee shop-had beer with Alvin.Supposed to discuss plans for the christmas gathering but ended up talking cock!!! We then adjourned for an all cousin affair in star cineplex where we watched The Kingdom(midnight show) . Really awesome shit man..slept at 4 am that day.
Had breakfast/lunch with my cousins the next day..didnt do much though as i had a flight to catch..overall kuching was fun! Cant wait to return for the christmas bash with the whole clan..yup, the whole bunch from my mums side...maybe we'll get to see nenek berjoget again HAHA!!
Nenek berjoget!!!HAHA! christmas 2006@hilton
as for now, my party continues in miri..
signing out now, have a jamming session tomorrow with pals. Cya~
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