angau

its 1am in the morning and im having one of my philosophical moments. So why not blog it..thats what its for anyways..( warning: long and boring filler post)

everyone wants it(well most normal people anyways)..some people just cant get it..like yours truly. Yes boys and girls, im talking about love. Not the parent-child love, or the sibling-sibling love..Im talking about the girl-guy love.


oxford defines it as :

love

• noun 1 an intense feeling of deep affection. 2 a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 3 a great interest and pleasure in something. 4 a person or thing that one loves. 5 (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).

• verb 1 feel love for. 2 like very much. 3 loving showing love or great care.

— PHRASES love me, love my dog proverb if you love someone, you must accept everything about them, even their faults or weaknesses. make love 1 have sexual intercourse. 2 (make love to) dated pay amorous attention to. there’s no love lost between there is mutual dislike between.

— DERIVATIVES loveless adjective lovingly adverb.

— ORIGIN Old English, related to LEAVE2 and LIEF.

a band called The Darkness defines it as : love is only a feeling

i define it as : those warm fuzzy feelings that makes you go awwwww..

okay, from here you can clearly see the difference in terms of mental-maturity of 3 different groups with varying levels of intellect

For the sake of convenience, ill be talking from the perspective of a guy.
Love is a strange thing and is safe to say that its largely due to hormones raging in your body. The biological significance of wanting a partner is simple enough, because it is rooted in the very carnal instincts of all living organisms, that their genes must be passed on, to an offspring..to be more specific, make babies lah!!

And of course to do this, most normal people would have to'fall'for a member of the opposite sex. Im not saying that when u fall for someone, you'd immediately want to reproduce, no..thats just perverted. All im saying that its natural for us to fall in love, to want to care for someone, to want to protect someone and to defend the person whom he loves..complex feelings that probably evolved from the raw instincts to preserve our own genes.

Sarawakians call it angau, others call it lovesick. A strange phenomenon in which people do extremely stupid things to woo members of the opposite sex(normally guys would do it to girls lah)..they can include very irritating behaviour(call her everyday, to the extent of annoying her) to very sweet gestures('sweet' here is subjective to the nature of the girl). Guys suffering from this could probably be cought day dreaming, experience a change in behaviour and so on.As for me, i play the guitar in my room whereby i'd randomly play some cheesy sounding chord progression, making up the lyrics as i go along(sometimes i do make great sounding stuff though!) Angau-ness is the most dangerous time as guys would be rash in trying to express their feelings..again we go back to the point of exhibiting stupid behaviour. Seriously though, when it happened to me, i didnt realize what an idiot i was till it was too late, the damage had been done.You then would just have to make your face extra kaw kaw tebal and carry on as if nothing happened.hahaha!

Anyways- the point is, we shouldnt rush things.Take it easy,take it slow..it takes time to develop mutual trust and respect- are among the common advice that girls give to friends. And a foundation of strong friendshp is always important..i used to think differently..but i now realise that its impossible to build strong relationships without first laying strong foundations as friends..
And also to guys who are in a rush to be unsingled ; a friend of mine once told me: 'don't you want only the very best to be your partner?'.
Its up to you to take this as being unrealistic or not..but there is sense and truth in that statement . So when feelings overwhelm me, i come back to that thought and take a breath..count one to ten..spin around 10 times..sing mary had a little lamb..then ask myself,is she the right one? you sure this isn't just a fling? or maybe im just feeling bored and looking for some 'kick' in my life and ill get that by chasing a girl..hrmmmmm.

okay okay, by now some people would be like What THe FUCK man!! its just getting a girl!Have some fucking balls!okay, yeah you're right. But its not wrong to want to do things properly. But there would always be people who are quick to condemn you as being a square, oh well, thats their opinion. Do whatever makes you happy. but im determined to do it my way thats for sure.

Then again theres the myth of love that lasts forever..probably no such thing in my opinion( im sorry ah liens and ah bengs~ :P 'i lap u forever lorrr, becoz our lap,itz so strong de,and i drive u here and there in wo de very fast de proton saga..muaxz muaxz..kekezzzz-whatever thats supposed to mean...urghh).
After 20 years living together, that intial spark that started it all had either whithered away or is fading..and the thing which keeps the couple glued together is something other than love.,mutual interests,respect for character/personality, responsibilities(eg.children and all) and whole lotta other factors..i know this cause my parents told me on their 28th wedding anniversarry. It doesnt mean they dont love and care for each other.no, its far from that. Its just that other things hav to help support and maitain that initial love and pull the family through difficult times.

I have had lots of arguments with friends wether or not its realistic to expect an individual to have a relationship only if it can last till marriage..till today i still dont know. why dont u help me answer =).

so guys, before we all go on and hunt/fish for the perfect one, please bear in mind..try not to hunt with your balls alone but try to use a bit of that organ we call a brain..respect girls and their boundaries. Be commited and serious. Dont play the fool with emotions and feelings..after all, hell hath no fury like a women scorned( in simple english, girls can get nasty..) and as a matter of principle, i dont take lightly to infedelity..one of the few things which REALLY ticks me off and is able to unleash my full violent inner self if it were ever to happen to me..wahsehhh hahaha!

to top it all off, heres excrepts from a nice song by Interpol, titled slow hands

Yeah but nobody searches
And nobody cares somehow,
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud,
Then I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze,
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet blaze...

Can't you see what you've done to my heart,
and soul?
its such a wasteland now

I submit my incentive is romance
I watch the pole dance of the stars,
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars,
But I am married to your charms and grace
I just go crazy like the good old days,
You make me want to pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you..

Can't you see what you've done to my heart,
and soul?
its such a wasteland now.

so here it is, a piece of my mind. Its my opinion and you have yours. Feel free to comment and whatever. Dont get nasty though =)

and lastly,

to all the single bastards,myself included..and yes you too avery wee chee sin, i salute you! Maybe we can find another reason for cheer and hapiness this christmas season =).