Dreams

Its late. Cant sleep. Blog. This is a familiar scenario. My mind seems to be most philosophical at night, when everything is peaceful and quiet..well technically it isnt night, its actually 4.30 in the morning. Dreaming without sleeping.
Lately ive been seriously considering the road in which my life is headed. Come july next year, i will transfer to the University of Adelaide to complete the final year of my Biomedical Science degree. If everything goes according to plan(passing all semesters etc etc), i will graduate in mid 2010.
The journey doesnt end there. IF i can obtain a cGPA of 3.6-4.0, I would continue to pursue my life's dream of studying medicine.

I've been pondering on one thing in the past week. Do i have what it takes?

The first thing people always ask me is; How come you didn't just do medicine straight after A- levels?

Well duh, obviously i didnt make the cut. My A levels werent good enough. In other words, im too stupid to pursue a course which has high demands in terms of academic abilities and limited placement.
The thing is, i always bite off more than i can chew. I always aim high. At times unrealistically high. Maybe this whole medicine thing is all just some wishful dream of mine.Well it definitely seems far..2010 is when i end my Biomed degree. Theres another 4 years after that if i choose to continue with a medical degree.
Another funny fact is that i actually enjoy other non science related fields like history, culture, languages and stuff like that. Then what the hell am i doing in a biomed course???Slaving my ass off to carry out biochem experiments of which i dont give a damn. I mean what the fuck..i sit in the Molecular biosciences lab for 5 hours each session, 2 session each week. I supposedly lead my lab team in the biochem experiments. I don't know whats going on, neither do i care. I have no interest in fraction collectors and deducing the amount of enzymatic activity in a particular fraction. The experiments have an unbelievably high rate of failure, and as the leader, im always responsible in one way or another.
I label myself a slacker and always complete my work last minute. I HATE writing reports and journals, and i absolutely despise calculations.
On the other hand, i can spend hours reading online articles on the viral structure of HIV. I dont mind reading up on metabolic disorders and their mechanisms. Of how new drugs are used to help cure or ease the symptoms. I actually don't find it tiring, boring, irritating or any other adjective one would normally associate with studying. I actually find it rewarding to read up on these stuff. And i get that kind of high just by reading about it.
I see a pattern here. I dont give a rats ass about something i have no interest in, or which is of no relevance to me. And i have the ability to give everything i have, every ounce of effort and direct every quantum of energy in me towards my one true passion. To elevate human suffering, albeit in a small way.
I want to study medicine. And theres nothing which will stop me for reaching my goal. Not the shameful memories of the past, not the skeptics of the present, and definitely not the fear of the future.
Im blessed to have a father who can provide for my education. All i need to do is get the grades. How easy can life be? I dont have to worry about food, shelter and all those that fall under the first level of maslow's hierarchy of needs.
So the conclusion is: Do it. Finish this sem with at least a 3.6. Survive my final sem of year 2, no matter what it takes. Grab Adelaide by the balls and rule that place. Graduate with a 3.6 in my final year. Get to med school, graduate, and get on with life.

So would a lazy slacker like me have the chance to enter prestigious schools like Imperial College London, UCL or the University of Nottingham?

Only time will tell. I am, after all a dreamer...and dreamers either make it big time or don't make it at all.

Off to bed. Goodnight!